Thursday, December 23, 2010

Abundance, The Final Chapter

From that day forward, each time I began to feel fear or limitation creep back into my life, I would refer back to that day the universe bent in order to fulfill my belief that, "all would be well."

It is not easy to stay focused in the moment and to deal with what you can. To remind yourself that right now, I have everything I need and if you don't, it is soon to arrive. This kind of mind set takes time and discipline and that is okay. As long as you are making an effort the universe will deliver. Always and in all ways.

As I contemplated this in my life, I looked back over the years and in each and every case, when the money was tight or when there was something lacking in my life, ALWAYS, things worked out.

Out of nowhere came that last minute miracle. Every person, place, condition or thing that was needed was magically there. Never did I go hungry, even when I didn't have a dime to my name. Never did I sleep on the street because I did not have a roof over my head. Never did I go without clothing, there was always something to wear even if it wasn't the latest style.

Though all of these things may not have been at the level of what I was accustom too or what I would have preferred. Still, never did the universe cease to deliver what I most needed, in the moment the need was created.

Another thing that is delivered in the moment was the flashes of ideas, the sudden solutions and the tiny sweet nudges from those who love and guide us from the heavenly realms. All of these things are only found, right in front of you, in the moment. So, to worry about the, "what ifs," of anything not in front of you, is a waste of energy because what is, not in front of you, is not created yet. Do you see?

Everything is created instantly with every thought and feeling. These can be changed in an instant if you choose to change them. The patterns we carry were created over a life time, even past life times. These are the patterns that are changed, every time we choose to change that thought, that feeling. Or to have faith, or trust or just surrender face down on the bed. It is a process. One day at a time, one choice at a time, one thought at a time.

But change does happen. It is law. It is a universal law that never changes. It is our greatest gift if we can learn to work with it instead of working against it.

So, why not try it, the next time you feel overwhelmed with something in your life. Release the fear and anxiety and confirm to yourself or anyone willing to listen, that everything will be fine. Confirm that the universe is a loving place to be and with great love for all life, the universe will give to you, as no one else can. It can create your life in any way you believe that it can. Confirm that this loving universe will dance to your tune, if you will but sing it. Try it. I promise you, life will respond in the most fantastic and loving way.

Peace be with you. Peace BE you.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Abundance Part 6

The day my life changed forever began like all the other days I had been having since everything began to fall apart. Dragging myself out of bed to face another day, feeling tired and disenchanted. One of the first things I had noticed was that the light on my cable box was not lit, which from experience, I realized that the cable was "down" again. This was becoming a normal thing in my life since I had signed up for this brand new cable service. It was a brand new system using fiber optics and was offered at a discounted rate for new customers. 

I remember doing all I had to do first before calling the cable company and dealing with this again. As the time approached for me to deal with this I felt numb. I had just minutes before wrote a check to pay my phone bill and had very little money left. Now I was facing another ordeal on the phone that I could have lived without.

I called and reported the problem as usual. They instantly went into action to discover what the problem was this time. Remember, this was a new technology for them and we were on a huge learning curve. My head hit the desk when the women came back on the line and told me she could not find my "account" anywhere on their system. I had just talked to them last week about another issue I was having and it was there then. There was no anger on my part, just numbness.

She put me on hold and when she came back she told me that they had no idea how this happened but before they could fix the problem I had to be put back on the system as a new customer! This was not good news considering it was late in the day. The whole process of becoming a new customer again took about 45 mins and the cable was still not working.

She took all of my information again and re entered me into the system. She said she would call me back as soon as they could round someone up to come out and fix the problem. Which they did as dinner time rolled around. I had no complaints with their service it was just comedy as to how all of this transpired.

It was after all this was corrected that I received a call from one of their reps. In bewilderment I listened to this women as she apologized for all the hassle I was experiencing and for my patience with this new system. She further went on to say that because of all the inconvenience I had been having they were going to credit my cable account for not only this months cable bill but for next month as well. She wasn't finished yet as I sat there in shock listening.

 She also told me that she would be happy to also credit my telephone account as well. When I told her that I had the check waiting there to send she told me to tear it up because she just credited my account for the total amount of 3 months worth of service! I was without words as she continued to say that on top of this she would be happy to send me a 50.00 gift card that I could spend any where I liked!

So, there I was moments ago destitute and wondering how I was going to eat the rest of the month. As I stammered my thanks I could hear her smile on the other end. I was so grateful I began to cry and she assured me that every thing she said had already been done and to expect the gift card in a week or so.

When I hung up the phone I totaled up all the credits she had given me and with the gift card she had actually gifted me with over 350.00 dollars! The ability to tear up my phone bill on the spot gave me the money to buy groceries now and when I went online to check my phone/cable account, all the credits were there on my account just as she said they would be.

The most important part of this experience was that after that day, I never had an issue with my cable system again! It worked perfectly. All the hassle was gone.

I have been saving this last bit of information about this cable system until the end because the irony of it never left my sight. The cable system that I am speaking about was called "U-verse!" Yes, "U-verse!" Almost enough to make one laugh out loud, huh?

It was from that day forward that things began to ease for me. All the concerns of the past were taken care off and the flow of money in my life began to move again. It was the experience of watching the universe bend in order to accommodate my beliefs that "all would be well" that changed me at a cellular level. It took a whole period of time in the lurch in order to change my belief at this fundamental level.

From that point onward there was no doubt that what ever I need, in the moment of need, the universe would supply the means for it. Though as time went forward those needs began to be met faster and faster because my belief had changed.

I am not saying that I never have any doubts when things begin to go array. I simply have the experience of the past to connect too that allows myself to remember that, "all IS well" and to breath through this. And it has always been so.

How grateful I am for having experienced this life changing time in my life. Underneath the fear and the struggle, a miracle of such  huge proportions happened in my life and I will always be grateful for it.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Abundance Part 5

During this period of my life the universe was determined to make its point clear. I was at a huge crossroads that I believe we all get too at the end of a cycle. This was the "end of the end" for me it seemed. I felt like a ping pong ball out of control as my life spun circles around me. Most of the time I just wanted off this crazy ride.

As things spun about, new things were also being offered into the mix. Things unexpected and given in ways that I never thought of before. You see, I always felt that being "abundant" was having a  lot of money in the bank. Having the money and time to travel and to do what ever I wanted to do. Abundance to me would bring me a sense of security, of freedom. That nice warm feeling that comes with not having to worry about anything for a long time. That was my definition of abundance at that time.

What I had yet to realize was that I was already abundant. In fact, I was operating in the flow and every thing I needed was supplied. Supplied like clock work. It was my belief of what abundance was that continued to get in my way.

The universal laws of abundance states; "Every thing you need will be supplied with ease and grace WHEN there is a need". OK, I had to go back and read that one again. "When" there is a need. So, that means that the universe can not fill a need unless there is one? Or, unless there is a "need" the universe does not see one so therefore does not deliver? 

That last statement was exactly what the universe was teaching me and I went to the exact point of being one step away from the streets before I believed this enough so that the universe could actually deliver what was needed at the last moment.  Why the last moment? Because until I believed, trusted and had faith enough to allow this to happen, I was blocking anything that was trying to come in. 

My fear was in the way and so I had to surrender into trust. Every thing I was doing to create abundance in my life, that was continuing to fail, was surrendered in faith. There was nothing else for me to do. Every move I made met with resistance.

There were nights that I would cry myself to sleep only to wake in terror gasping for air. I kept swaying into self blame for not doing something, anything to make more money. All the things that worked in the past did not work any longer and I was at a loss as to how to proceed. Surrender was all I had left and until I surrendered in full trust did the universe bend to meet me half way which allowed me to turn a very important cornor.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Abundance Part 4

Not every day was the same in this maze I had set up for myself. One day I would be able to hold that focus, the next I was off the chart with worry and anxiety. What made this worst was at the same time I was so worried about money to make it through the week, every time I would step out of the house I was met by some one less fortunate then I asking for help! "Good Lord," I thought. "Every homeless person in the city is being attracted to my fear."

I went to the gas station to put gas in my car and I was asked for money by a man leaning against one of the pumps. My instant reply was, "No, I' m sorry. Things are hard for me right now too". He politely turned away looking for the next person to ask as I stood there feeling angry that I was being put into this situation.

The anger was because I knew the universal laws of attraction like I knew my own name. This however was not a problem when I was in "cash flow". I was always happy to help anyone who would ask regardless of how I thought this person may spend it. I knew it wasn't my call to even wonder but to make the choice to give it FREELY or to not give it at all.

My humble knowledge of how this universal law works at its most basic state was to give to others what you need. At this point in my life I needed money and so I had set myself up in a place that I could give to someone else what I needed most!

That was all good in theory but the only cash I had was five dollars  in my wallet and I was pretty sure I was going to need that before the end of the week. Standing there pumping my gas (on my credit card) I just wanted to cry. The fear that was engulfing me when I thought about giving that money to this man was gripping me like a vise, yet I KNEW that I had too give it to him or my integrity with what I believe would be out of balance and I would be living a lie.

As I finished pumping the gas I went to my wallet and there were exactly 5 one dollar bills there. With a deep breath I took out two of them and approached the man and gave it to him. He nodded his Thanks and I went back to my car. As I climbed into my car I had to swallow my anger and fustration when all I got was a nod from the man I had just given two of my last dollars too. I was raw and tired.

Heading towards the grocery store I kept waiting for that good feeling that you feel when you do something nice or you help someone in some way. Everything inside of me was shaking and I kept hearing myself saying over and over, "what are you doing!" There was no good feeling in this, only fear. Gripping fear that I had finally lost all sense.

I only stopped in to the grocery store to pick up a few things that I could fit on my credit card. When I walked through the door I saw all of these red sale tags on the vegtables that I always buy. "Hum, that's weird" I thought. Because of this "sale" I was able to buy a whole lot more then I had antisipated. It didn't take long for me to realize that this "sale" was the result of my gift to the man at the gas station. What surprised me was how fast the circle of abundance had come around!

As I left the store I was feeling a whole lot better about things. I was contemplating just how this all happened and because I had just experienced this awesome law in action my belief grew stronger and my faith and trust trippled.

I had just loaded the bags in the car and began to turn around and there coming towards me was a man with a look of sadness in his eyes. I remember thinking "Oh, no! I know that look! Not again"!

Sure enough he apporached me and asked me if "I had any money I could spare. This was money to feed his kids, and he would be really grateful for anything I could give him." 

Now, you would think I would have laughed out loud at the absurdity of this entire day but again my first reaction was, "No, I am sorry, thing are really hard for me too right now." He sadly said, "Ok" and walked away as I clamored into my car. 

There I sat, frozen. Gone was the feeling that every thing was going to be OK. Gone was the awe I had just experienced and in its place that dread was back full force. How can this be. Twice in one day. I knew what I had to do yet I sat there numb. This time however it was not as hard since I had just witnessed the miracle that can be created if I would relax my death grip on my life. Surrender was needed and surrender I did.

I opened my wallet and there were the three one dollar bills staring at me. Again, I took out two of them and I kept one for myself. I just could not part with that last dollar. I drove over to where he was standing and rolled down my window, handed him the money and told him that, "I wish it could be more but I know that every thing he and his children need will be given, if he would only believe". He smiled at me as I drove away.

I was telling myself this as well as to him because I saw myself in him. I saw his need as my own need. I saw his fear as my own fear. In that moment, we were one in the same. We both stood looking into each others eyes and reflected back to each other the hope that our trust and faith in some thing larger then ourselves would help us through. I drove away knowing I did the right thing but wondering as well how I was going to get through this week. I chose not to think beyond that.

That day will linger in my mind forever. That day was just the beginning of what was about to happen in my life. This one crazy fearful day lead me into the next step. If I hadn't experienced this small display of universal law in action, then the next demonstration of that law in action was going to knock me out. Stay tuned.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Abundance Part 3

So, the new level of understand about living in the moment and how that relates to abundance began and it was not until later did I realize how this new perspective was about to change my life for ever. You see, it is not enough to simply know these thing. Spirit has a tendency to help you create situations in your life that allows you to experience, first hand, these new perspectives.

Soon after that fitful day, every thing in my life began to shift. What I had thought was a slow down in finances was a walk in the park compared to what I began to experience. It seemed that every thing I owned began to fall apart. These things I speak of where things that are necessary for living such as my car, my computer, my refrigerator etc. Big ticket items.

All of these began to fail, one by one. Some quickly and some began the slow death process. To my utter disbelief I did not panic. Instead I choose to breath, (a lot) and to have that proverbial "faith the size of a mustard seed".

Information became the most important element in the moment. "How much will it cost to fix the car, the frig"? The computer was not a concern at the moment, I could live without that. 

I began to shift my focus to the things I could do now, since to think about all of it was overwhelming and panic would rise to cut off my air supply. I became tunnel visioned and all the rest fell into a temporary shadow waiting its turn for resolution. If I could not find the money or the answer that day, I would release the whole thing just like I would if I mailed a letter by placing it in a mailbox.

 One by one, day by day, I did this. As I focused entirely on what was directly in front of me to deal with vs every thing that needed attention, I began to relax and breathing began to get easier.

At the end of each day, I fell into bed in gratitude that the day was over and I was still able to breath. It didn't matter if the little money I had was slowly dwindling away, the day was over and blessed relief in sleep was close at hand. I remember that before I allowed myself to sleep, I worked hard at finding the one thing that day to be grateful for. Like eating for instance. *smile*
Trust me, it was no picnic to feel my insides up around my throat day in and day out as I walked through each day, slowly, one breath at a time. Nor was waking in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with nightmarish images dancing in my head, fun. I truly felt alone and desitute.

Now, I would love to tell you that all of this had a happy ending. And it did, but I wasn't finished with what I had set up for myself as a huge learning curve. That is what is important here because this experience was so life changing that even when I had nothing and I mean nothing, I witnessed a truly miraculous thing. I actually witnessed the universe BEND in order to show me just how much are faith and trust can create miracles. Stay tuned.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Abundance Part 2

So, there I was. Laying in my self imposed puddle of hopelessness when I heard that tiny voice inside whisper those words of wisdom. "What are you without"? 

"What am I without you ask?" Well, I was in the perfect place to let that tiny voice know exactly all the things I was without! So without hesitation I began to list all the things missing in my life starting with, of course, money. Then on and on I went, as item after item fell from my list of all the things that I was without in my life. All the while that tiny voice sat there, (with the nerve to smile by the way), as I read off that long list of missing things.

When I had finally come to the end of my tirade and lay once again exhausted and spent, the tiny voice, (still smiling mind you), said "No, what are you without, right NOW?" Well if there had been any strength left in me I may have jumped out the window but instead I simply lay there lost in those simple words.

It was then that I was beginning to understand what was being said to me. I lay there understanding that right now, in this moment, I was "without" no thing. Even though that was true, it did not make me feel any better because I knew, in theory anyway, that being in the "moment" came straight from the book "Spirituality 101". What had not occurred to me yet was, that as true as being "in the moment" was, the meaning behind those words were far more vast then my current understanding and I was being prompted to take this to the next level. And so it began....

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Abundance. What is it really and what does it look like in real life.

When I first began to awaken, I began to read every thing I could get my hands on about how to improve my life. The one theme that I found interesting was the concept of abundance. Though there were many interpretations of this magical thing called abundance, one thing that really stuck out for me was that no one really had a clear explanation on HOW to manifest it in life. Yes, it all sounded really good in theory but really, how does one create this and keep this flowing in ones life?

So the hunt for me began. I was pretty determined to find the formula. Not the pie in the sky theory's, but the pure formula of the alchemist. I wanted to know the universal law that governs this. For truly, it is a law and it is an immutable law at that. So, the big question was, if it is an immutable law then why was it that some people were rich, while others were poor? Why was I able to create one thing, out of thin air, yet when I applied myself, nothing?

I soon began to realize that the formula I had found had its issues. All the positive intentions, all the positive thinking and mantras did nothing but wear me out, with little to show for my effort. Every thing I had read about and heard about was great but when I viewed my life and what I was working to create, it all fell short and extremely empty.

So there I was. Face down in the dirt, exhausted and feeling truly defeated, when there came across the vast sea of my mind, in barely a whisper, "What are you without?" Huh? "What am I without?"
See part 2